Loving Laura

In life, we always are dealing with new and old. New things in our path that broaden us and help us grow. We also deal with old. Its predictable, safe, familiar and routine...but it stays just that, always the same. Old does not grow or change, does not experience new things. So why is it so hard to break with the old and spring for the new. You always say you want new, talk about doing new things, having new habits and making dreams happen...simply by setting a deadline. Bam! Dream is now a goal, and goals are so attainable! Sooo instead of having this broad dream of being me again, I decided to break down that dream into what I thought was 'being me'.
Step 1. Sleep. Now I know to all you non Mothers out there , you think its funny that sleep is numero uno. But you try getting up every hour on the hour for 8 months and see how funtioning and motivated you feel! So the past month Ive really cracked down on my bedtime routine. Now that she doesnt sleep through the books, and   (kind of) pays attention when I read to her, I read for a full hour every night before bed. I love it, and I think one day she will too! Which brings me to number 2....
Step 2. Read. Again your probably thinging of all the things you could choose you want to fit reading into your hectic routine? Yes. Now Im not saying that Ill read every day or anything, but reading has always been a huge part of me. While other kids were off at parties I was in the library reading. I love the escape. The freedom. So Ive started reading again. Its just one of those motins I needed to take to feel like me. I mean what makes us who we are? What we do and say yes? SO if we stop doing all the things we love to do, are we still us? Well truth be told, I stopped doing all these things, and no...I didnt feel like me.
Step 3. Do my hair and make up. I find when i feel like I look good I tend to want to leave the house more. Go out longer. And no i dont need make up to feel good about the way I look, I used to in high school...Im pretty much over that now. But on the odd day I decide to go do my hair and make up instead of mindlessly looking at the computer screen, and on those days I feel great. I find Im way more productive and social. *note* those days generally follow a night of sleep :)
Step 4. Art. Now that I feel (from sleep) and look (the more fabulous I look the more fabulous I feel) like me, and my brain is full of amazing imagry (reading!) Im ready to paint. Or draw, which was my old preferred method of extruding the art from my soul and slapping it onto the paper. But Im trying for new, so Im exploring a little. Mediums wise that is...
Step 5. Music. Music used to be my life. Ive played an instrument and sang for as long as I can remember. My Dad is a musician and wanted me to be too. In highschool I was always in choir and jazz choir which you had to audition for as their was 9 girls And although piano lessons were pretty boring as a kid, I LOVE piano music now! Ive decided to teach myself and perform (yikes) for Rockton Fair. Oh boy! So Imm learning the song on my Dads key board that hes lent me. And this is all so new! So I have little over a month. I hope i can learn it well enough that I can sing at the same time! I get terrible stage fright! Its easy to sing in a group, but alone, its very different.
Step 6. Excersise and eat well. I know this should be a higher priority. But I am getting better and better. On days that I draw, or read or do make up or sing....those days I also go on long nature walks with Laura in the stroller. I love nature walks. I grew up down by the river, and spent most of my time there with my camera.
Speaking of camera...Ive really fallen out of habit of my camera, which is now good. Everytime I blink I miss something! So I finally went out and bought some batteries and taken some pictures. New pictures of new things. Like this new tattoo Ive got on my foot :) And to me it symbolized my love for music and serves as a reminder that we grow and change and become so busy in life, but some things never change! People thing they change, and maybe they do a little...grow and evolve to fit their surroundings. But the core being of that person always stays the same. I thought I had changed. Thought that becoming a Mom meant thats all I was. But I found me again. And it  feels great!                                                                     
So this here is my new tattoo <3

    This is an old (2008) pic of me singing.

This is an older pic of me being fabulous me. That is the mojo Im aspiring towards.

This is the most recent painting Ive done, other then Julia's, but that was more of experimenting with new supplies then an actual attempt at something meaningful and inspiring. Don't get me wrong Justine, Julia's painting is very beautiful, it has her name and some  kittens, and I think she will like it very much. But for my next painting, I hope to push myself.