Loving Laura

What would you do for a friend? Would you climb a mountain? Would you take a bullet? Would you write a late blog post and hope that your only follower and loyal reader enjoys the post and keeps reading ? Would you take on the whole world? For some friendships I think I would. But what happens when you were wrong about a friend in your life? A friend you've known since you were 6! I did, and that leaves me wondering......how well can you really know someone? I mean really, we spend all our time finding out every little detail about people, people we want to be friends with. We ask them questions about themselves : What movies do you like? Whats your favourtie colour? Oh you like football, do you play? etc etc, each question with one goal...to know this person a little better. But you dont really. I mean yes you know they like blue, but Im starting to think that none of those things matter. People constantly change. Every event that we go through shapes us a little more and a little more. Sure when you were a little kid you liked pink, NO you adored pink, but now you really love a crisp forest green, and not just that but your views and opinions on well most things at least. I was going to say everything, but thats not quite true, as I still love drawing....some things never change.

So yes, back to why I went on and on about friends. A few days ago, last day of March to be precise, I found out my Mom has breast cancer ( by the way id just like to say a quick little FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!) *ehem* anyways my mood was rather low as you can very well imagine. April 1st comes along, a good friend of mine, one who Ive known since I was six, posts her FaceBook status (yes I know how lame that a relationship of such calalibur can be ruined by facebook!) as single. I read the 30 comments asking if she was serious or if its a joke and she wrote it was real. So i messaged her in live chat and asked her if she was ok, was this for real? She wrote back yes, that he was kicking her out and was trying to take her two baby girls from her. Now this conversation went on for honestly 30 minutes. It was in depth about the failures of their relationship. At the end of this talk She told me her mother was on her way to come get them and she had to run and pack. She lives an hour or so from here, and she took down my number with a pen on her hand (or so she lied) and told me she would call as soon as she got here. Hours go by and still no word. I message another friend of hers and she knows nothing as well. I message her older sister , shes worried too,, she hasnt heard anything. I even message her Mom!! And guess what, her mother never even talked to her! She doesnt even know anything is going on. So I try to reach my friend again, no answer. I think something serious must have happened. Then another 6 hours later, her sister writes me and said my friend, actually lets say ex-friend, called her back, it was a joke.
Like REALLY????? You dont joke about a few things. Death, the well being of your family, winning money, and Im sure theres more bt really! Wouldnt it have been a good time to tell me it was a joke in the chat? Like when she saw how concerned I was, to just say "Amanda, Im sorry I got you so worked up, it was a joke, I didnt mean it to go so far" it wouldve been over. But no. She says Im a dumb gullible bitch who needs to get a sense of humor ! Ha. ahahahahahahahahahaha, oh man, can I even describe how angry I was. Well needless to say we both went on a back and forth hatefest after I told her her 55 year old fat unemployed drug dealing loser of a pedophile boyfriend must have brain washed her. And maybe he has. As the girl I ended my longest relationship with was not the smae little sweet heart I grew to love. SHe kept  saying that I always have to one up her, that Im always better then her and shes tired of all my drmam and attention seeking. Haha uhhhmmm .....Im sorry? Like really. Im just glad that I think I might be able to let this one go. Im a little compulsive when it comes to holding onto things and storing them inside. Im a terrible internalizer of problems, but no more! I dont need that drama, I have such good things in my life! Like Laura, who is patiently watching me from her chair.

She is amazing. I know every Mom thinks that of her baby, but really, how cant you?!?! She is 4 months old already, I remember her being just a little bean, she slept all the time and we cuddled day and night. There still alot of cuddling, but she wants to sit up now, like a people as her Father would say LOL. I hold her too much maybe, but I cant help it, all I want to do is hug her, squeeze her right back into my tummy . In fact I feel a small tinge of guilt to be letting her sit there all alone. Maybe because she cant play with toys or anything yet. I mean really....she doesnt look that unhappy ! I hope this post is long enough for Justine, who right now may be the only person reading this, so to keep my reader(s?) happy, I will try to be more diligent with my posts.

So Im writing this soley to appease my lovely Mommy friend Justine. Yesterday I found out my Mom,. the most important person in my life, next to Laura of course, has breast cancer. In the past 10 years she has lost both her parents to cancer, and her health has been on a steady decline the past 4 years. She has severe osteoporosis and arthitis , saying Im worried ofr her is an understatement. So understandably Im not in a very talkative mood. Also, Laura is asleep on my lap, she passed out while on her boob. So needless to say Im stretching to reach the key board. My arms are burning from th effort. But so is my sence of guilt, for not having written sooner. Tomorrow, I promise to match the length of your post today. With pictures too.