So I realize logic would dictate that 'Hair part 2" be my next post. One problem, it takes sooooo long to do my hair. I hate long hair. HATE HATE HATE! Brushing alone is a tedious task that I loath. It doesnt help that when I ask Trevor to watch Laura so i can shower, brush, dry, and straighten my hair he doesnt turn off his game. Even if shes crying, he will try to hold her while he plays. Ya I know.
So tomorrow I will try to do ti all during nap time. Normally I use nap time to eat, but for you, and you know who you are, I will try to get some pictures :)
So Im not quite sure what Lauras deal is, but the last two months shes been waking up once, sometimes even twice a night. Like seriously, I feeel like Im close to breaking. When I get tired like this is the only time I really regret becoming a Mom. How terrible, I know. Maybe its exhaustion speaking. Its all me doing it. I know I know, Trevor works, he cant get up with ehr during the week, but tomorrow he has off, you would think he would get up with her for the first time in 5 months. Nope.
Its 3 am, and Laura has decided not to go back to sleep. Awesome. Just fucking spectacular. Now I get to sit here for 2 hours watching shitty nighttime weekend tv and fully wake up, just in time for her to go to bed.
I just dont even know what to say, Im so tired an angry. I wish I wouldve realized what I was signing myself up for becoming a Mom. Im not an overly selfish person. But the thought that I will never get to be selfish again, never get to sleep a full night, never get to paint a painting or date or even wear a bikini (as my body is ruinned) is enough to bring me to tears. Its the sleep deprivation Im sure....or am I?
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Mini Rant
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1 Comment to "Mini Rant"
Justine Taylor Says:
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May 29, 2011
FUCK I was writing a comment & Julia is sitting beside me, she kicked the keyboard as she was adjusting herself & it all disappeared! Now I have to try to remember everything I wrote...
I completely understand everything you say in this post. I hate long hair & I hate sleep deprivation! Studies have shown that Broken sleep (waking up frequently) is even worse than getting a small amount of sleep.
I keep waiting for things to get better but Julia is two now & she still wakes up at 3 am most nights.
She went through spurts where she would sleep really well through the night.. 8 hours, 10 hours, 12 hours... I think she did it just to tease me because it would never last long. Just long enough for me to start to enjoy it & then BAM back to waking up every three hours!
I keep waiting for Corey to get better too, but I think that's a lost cause. The only times he actually does things is when he's putting on a show for his parents. He'll even change diapers, you saw! :o
Rediculous.
I wish I had of known what becoming a Mother would mean. I would have waited had I known. I would have waited until I was done school, I would have waited until I had worked long enough to be financially stable ... I would have waited until I found someone better than Corey..
I wish I had of know the kind of person he would turn out to be.
Then, we wouldn't be in such a mess.
<3
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