Loving Laura

Well this post is completely unplanned. So sorry if I go off on a tangent or forgot what I was writing about all together. Sometimes I do that. Like now, for instance.  The reason I decided to write this impromptu post is because today, when I went to check the Mommy Blogaries, like I do every morning I noticed that I had unpublished comments. Hmmm interesting, Im pretty sure I already published Justine's 1 comment per post , and here are some more. And not from Justine. Why is it so strange to me that that simple fact could make me feel happy. Someone else out there cares to read my thoughts? Finds my sarcasm and awkward jokes to be funny? I think thats just swell. So as per your request, this post will be about Laura. A brief little run down of my schedule, and the way I like things done. Now Im not saying the way that I do things are right (although in my opinion they are :D) so please do not decide that youa re going to do things as I do and then complain to me when they dont work. Every baby is different. Every baby learns differently and develops at different rates.
But enough of that, onto Laura, who is currently on her tummy time mat making hilarious sounds, all the more difficult for me to concentrate and write anything other then my internal monologue which is giggling madly.  I dont know if I have a parenting style. I think its a funny term. I guess because it varies so much. Laura was a winter baby, which may be fault to why we co-sleep...but in the same regards it would also make it responsible for me breast feeding exclusively for the first 5 months. We moved into a new house last summer, when I was preegnant with Laura. Heat was inclusive with the rent, but the down stairs tenents have the thermostat, little did I know how big of an issue it would be. See in such an old house it heated the downstairs up rreally quickly and then the upstairs was still cold. And it wasnt really that cold, maybe Im just making excuses. In the hospital, I had a c-section, it made it excruciating to mopve around, if I could do it again  I think I may have waited the week to see if she flipped back around so I could do it 'au naturel' . But because of the surgery that very first night I slept with her right in bed with me. Im a really light sleeper, the cats move three rooms down and I hear the floor squeek. So I wasnt really afraid Id roll on her, and since I was breast feeding it made sense to just keep her on me. Well that first nioght I fell in love. I mean I loved her at first sight and all, but the anesthetics they gave me for surgery were terrible, made me sick and woozey. everything was a blur until later that night. That night, just thinking of it gives me goose bumps. It reminds me of when I first fell in love with Trevor, back before all the hurt, that rush of warm love that ran through my veins setting me on fire. When I hugged her I felt that rush again, only stronger. I held her close and knew I would never let her go. Once home from the hospital I was still sore. My Mom came and helped out every day for the first month, her support was invauable, I dont know how I wouldve done it without her! Trevor would take care of us at night, make dinner and bring me things when I asked for them. I started making a 'nest'. Where I would sit on the couch with a blanket and push it so it looked like a little nest, with me in the center, scooped out bowl part of this nest. I would lay Laura in there at her boob, and when she was done eating she would go to sleep. Everyday I held her, even when she slept. Not really realizing I was causing an issue for later. Now, Laura being 6 months old, she has a problem going to bed  in her crib. I try at nap times, I want the transition to flow. But still sometimes, when shes had a rather cranky day I just hold her while she sleeps so i know shes getting her nap. By bedtime (9pm) Im so tired that I dont want to lay her in the crib and then get up with her every hour, Im always nice and calm and gentle, when Ive had some sleep. So when bedtime comes along, I just bring her to  bed with me. I sleep with my arm over her holding her hand, and I tuck the blanket under her so she cant roll away from me, but Im such a light sleeper, if she moves a muscle Im up. Trevor wants her in the crib. He doesnt like sharing our queen bed with a little baby. But again, when push comes to shove, he needs his sleep too. He would rather sleep on the end of the bed then hear me and Laura making so much noise at 11pm,1am,3am,4am,6am (and thats how it seems to go on nights i try to put her in the crib!)
Coming up Trev and I have a trip planned for Niagra Falls, for my birthday. It will be our first night away, and my first nights sleep. Im excited for the sleep part :D!  Im a little nervous about leaving Laura, I know she is all I will be able to think about, but Ill try and act like Im having a good time. Oh good news though, Jean (Trevs Mom) has to go work for the carnival so she cant watch Laura for one of the 2 days were gone, ohhh booooo! Oh no, a drunk chain smoker isn't going to neglectfully watch my baby, oh no, how ever will I deal? *victory dance*