Loving Laura

I planned on having Laura. Most people my age who become parents, its on accident, but us, we planned this. I wish (sometimes) that we had been able to wait, as now that I look to going to school in January, its much harder now that I have Laura. For starters my Mom will have to watch her all day everyday, while Im in class. Now my Mom is only 47, but she is very unhealthy. Which makes me sad, always just a little floating in the back of my mind. before the devastating news that she has cancer, she was already out of work and fighting with severe osteoarthritis and osteoporosis. Which means, for those of you fortunate to have never had a loved one suffer with, is that her bones are so fragile that stubbing a toe she broke all 4 toes and a bone in her foot. Just from a stubbed toe. And the arthritis is in all her muscles and joints, sometimes her hands are so bad that she has trouble opening her door.

A while back, I guess maybe January...not the one just past but the one before that. I had to tell my Mom news from my Doctor. Me like her 4 sisters has a medical condition that causes scaring in the fallopian tubes, making it hard for the egg to ever make it down to meet the sperm.And that chances were, I wouldn't be able to have kids. She was devastated, as was I. I always wanted a baby. So in February, we decided to try anyway. We were told it would probably never happen. Lets just try so later in life we could say we did. And why keep getting depo provera if I dont even need it (depo is a birth control injection, given every 3 months). So I didnt go for that months needle and we did it like rabbits. Sorry was that too graphic? When I mention my fallopian tubes Im assuming youve taken phys ed.

So one month later Im throwing up, every day. I knew right away I was pregnant. And I cant describe how happy I was. Somedays I regret my decision, some days I think of how much easier buying a house and getting a career would be if I didnt have a family to worry about. Then, I look at Laura, and know that this is exactly  how my life was meant to be. I love my baby. No other sperm and egg combo could be as great! I just wish it didnt come with so many stretch marks!

Tomorrow, Niagara Falls post.